*I want to preface this post, that I wrote weeks ago, by saying a big thank you to Donald Trump for bringing to light the bullshit women have been dealing with for decades. I’m so glad that a clown of his esteem has finally made this a national discussion.*
As luck would have it, I got 388 views on my post Let’s Talk About Boobies. HUGE shocker, right? I don’t want to call anyone out, but I’m willing to bet that people (ahem, men) who don’t even sew (ahem, men) read the post simply because I dared to include the word “boobies” in the title. And good on me. Get ready to see posts that include that word more often: “Boobalicious Sewing Tools,” “Top 3 Patterns to Show Off Your Boobs,” the list goes on.
I jest of course, as there were many women who chimed in on the discussion about how society has shaped our choices when it comes to covering up or showing off our bodies. Which leads me to an important point – female bodies are objectified every single second of every single day. And it’s not so subtle. I’ve heard the following over the years, and all from men:
“You have great tits.”
“Your legs look great.”
“You’ve got booty for days!”
While it can be a huge ego boost to know you are physically attractive to the opposite sex, relying on this reaction alone can be dangerous. I spent five years in a marriage to someone who didn’t seem attracted to me at all. If he was I certainly didn’t feel attractive. Due to other factors I won’t relay today, I spent the greater portion of that relationship feeling unattractive, unwanted, and completely neglected. And it’s amazing how much that lack of reinforcement did a number on my self-confidence.
We do a disservice to young women, and women in general, when we focus on her physical attributes alone. We have thoughts, ideas, humor, feelings, etc. These are the qualities people mention over time when our bodies begin to age and our physical beauty fades. It’s those qualities by which I want to be remembered – not my ample D cups.
So, how can you encourage and support positive body image (especially in our young women) rather than be a douche canoe? Simple. Compliment her ambition, smarts, creativity, sense of humor, wit, balls of steel, courage, kindness, empathy, passion, heart, smile, eyes, laugh, and talents. Keep your bullshit about food, diet, and clothing to yourself. Refrain from making overtly sexual comments (some women have experienced intense sexual trauma). And overall THINK before you speak. Newsflash: it’s not your job to value judge anyone.